毫無疑問,當第一次見到Kings Elliot嘅外貌造型,我係非常之不以為然,覺得佢只係抄襲初出道時嘅Billie Eilish;情況有啲似電影《月黑高飛》嘅Red,望見Andy初入監獄時嘅第一印象。
後嚟,我同Red一樣,都知道自己睇錯人。
2020年,Kings Elliot推出處女作《I'm Getting Tired Of Me》,亦係佢成名作。全曲喺低緩嘅電子節拍氛圍下,訴說著一個作繭自縛嘅人嘅故事。呢個人,就係Kings Elliot自己。
“The leaves will go brown,
When they're done being green.
They'll fall to the ground,
When they're tired of the tree.
But there's nowhere to go,
When I'm getting tired of me……”
樹葉唔想再依附大樹,它選擇變成落葉,但落葉最終都會歸根;而Kings Elliot佢,對自己感到厭倦,卻搵唔到任何出路。我諗起Orlando《Here (So Find Me)》副歌「I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYONE, LEAST OF ALL MYSELF」。呢份中二病,相信大部份人都(曾經)感同身受。不過Kings Elliot情況有所分別,佢真係一位受情緒病困擾嘅人。《I'm Getting Tired Of Me》MV,正正記錄佢發病時嘅一刻︰
睇完MV,你會感受到《I'm Getting Tired Of Me》,唔係中二病,而係一首坦誠面對自己、坦誠面對自己情緒嘅歌曲。Kings Elliot將佢痛苦、陰暗、絕望一面,透過音樂、歌詞、歌聲、影像,赤裸裸地展現於人前,毫無掩飾。我欣賞佢呢份勇氣。
2021年年尾,Kings Elliot推出首張E.P.《Chaos In My Court》,5首曲目全都記錄低佢嘅情緒波動起伏。不停Loop住聽,你會進入Kings Elliot嘅悲慘世界,同佢感同身受;不停Loop住聽,你唔會聽到發癲,因為佢嘅音樂世界傷感之餘,仍然帶點Bittersweet,苦中仍有一點甜。《The Outsider》擁有溫暖嘅電音編曲、Kings Elliot溫婉嘅歌聲。歌詞描寫一段苦戀,一個同世界格格不入嘅人,佢嘗試同正常人戀愛,但從一開始已注定無好結果。
“I hear them playing "Mr. Brightside",
And you're dancing.
As if you don't even notice me,
'Cause I don't fit in……”
《Chaos In My Court》碟名嚟自《Bitter Tonic》一句歌詞;另一句歌詞「I don't wanna die, but I say I do so I can scare myself sometimes」好自然亦聯想到Queen《Bohemian Rhapsody》金句︰「I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all 」。《Call Me A Dreamer》齋睇歌名好似較正面,但單聽頭一段Verse,已知道呢首歌都係由頭Sad到落腳趾尾咁傷感:「Call me a dreamer, call me naive and young, like a gun to my head……」
反而,《Dancing Alone》係全碟最樂觀一首。重覆又重覆嘅琴音和弦,神聖而莊嚴。呢一首歌,同年輕時我聽到Tanita Tikaram嘅《Valentine Heart》,感覺真係好似好似。Kings Elliot祈願,同佢跳舞嘅舞伴,寧願彼此傷痕累累一起倒下,總好過孤獨一人起舞(But falling together is better than dancing alonе);更祈願,就算我雙腳變成石頭,你都會抱住我回家(Now my legs are turning to stone, could you carry me home?)
坦誠面對自己,從來唔容易。《Chaos In My Court》正正俾我呢一份感覺,相信唔止我,Kings Elliot其他歌迷都會咁認為,雖然現時為數唔算多,但令人感動嘅音樂,總會搵到佢嘅知音人,we're all feeling good about feeling sad。除咗坦誠、勇氣,我仲好欣賞Kings Elliot嘅幽默 ── 佢接受訪問時曾講笑,因為情緒病,佢嘗試食藥,後來卻發現寫歌唱歌更有效,亦更慳錢!
承認自己問題,更識得自嘲,相信Kings Elliot已勇敢向前走出一大步;或者仍然未搵到出路,但起碼已有一個方向。所以佢由出生地瑞士遷往英國倫敦,發展自己音樂事業。Kings Elliot亦曾公開呼籲,如果大家同佢一樣,遇到情緒問題但解決唔嚟,請鼓起勇氣Send Message俾佢。
我從來相信,音樂能夠療癒人心、尋獲共鳴。我哋亦要相信每一個人,或多或少擁有呢種能力,唔單止係音樂,可以係其他唔同範疇。所以我寫咗呢篇樂評。